About the happiness part... Cara mia, don't be hard on yourself as I was periodically, consistently... I used to have high expectations for myself to always have happiness, joy, bliss-whatever, all positivity, at a constant background because I insisted that I dared to label myself as a strong optimist, that the debt of gratitude for my past, present, and prospective opportunities compared with the majority of the world called for such action (manipulation of psyche?).
But what I kept forgetting is that... both yin and yang are for us, for the entire humanity. How can I expect to smile and be in peace all the time when millions of kids are dying from the easily curable things? When there are things such as rape, wife battery, slavery, murder, torture, sex trafficking, ethnic genocide, child abuse or sweatshops under the disguise of modernization and industrialization? I am not saying we should feel bad for all these and even cry although they would also be okay if we choose to do so... but the thing is we too feel! we are human! It may not and doesn't have to fit into someone else's logic why we fall into a deep depression for an argument/fight with a sister...or why&how we develop obsessions about self-image, confidence, and even hope for the future...How could pushing aside and even neglecting our invisible wounds help us overcome the pain and possibly those of others? So if and when we decide to deal with such, should we choose guilt, shame, irritation or acceptance, sympathy, and even empathy?
I don't think I have ever shared a sample of Turkish music with you...let this be the first song. She is one of my favorite Turkish artists and this is one of her songs which says: ''Sometimes I will bloom sometimes I will wither away; I will laugh tomorrow if I am crying today.''
It doesn't always work on a day-turn schedule though :) haha.
Patriarchal societies have such strict and unreachable bars of perfection for all but more for females that...not only do we torment ourselves mentally and physically we also hamper each other's natural rights and prosperity in so called civilized rat races. These last two comments seem vague and expansive but it could be extensive to all facets of our human interactions.
When the time comes, I will tell you more about how I dealt with arriving 'here' (maybe I was just twirling around myself the whole time) but I can say that emotionally I have jumped over the fence left and right, way too far onto the edges as often as seasons and day times change.
We all go through it dear N, some prefer or are expected to keep a poker face though...
Don't ask yourself to be happy at all times. Let yourself cry, let yourself get angry but remember that you deserve to forgive to walk freely... Dream a little dream. 'Eat, Love, Pray' :)
You see, happiness comes and goes...sorrow exists to accompany its counterpart just perfectly. How can we understand others' frustration, anger, hopelessness, pessimism, and dark sides if we cling onto positive only?
Wouldn't that make us egoist and self-centered? Oh trust me, I recently started thinking about these more thoroughly, specifically after reading ''The monk who sold his Ferrari''.
I read about long living, super healthy, intelligent and positive monks who live in isolated, high peaks of the Himalayas who also never leave their virgin soils for anyone or anything...then near the end of the story, I said to myself: ''Allright this does fascinate me but what good would it make an individual to live life painted in neon pink if he/she/it can not see the joy in the eyes of a new mother, make a kid laugh with a silly joke, help out the homeless, cook for the poor, or simply cry over a book?...
When A and I received your text about finding you inspirational quotes, we were actually reading a great book I checked out from the library...We instantly decided that it was just the right book to share with you. The prophet by Khalil Gibran.
Inhale, exhale. Check the pulse of Mother Nature. Disregard time. Feel strong, feel weak. Can you feel these two as one, reciprocally? One Love.