Here in Tr people don't sell moving boxes like they do in the U.S. so I had to beg a few supermarkets to spare a couple of broken, torn boxes which I taped all around to actually make boxes.EAY was the only around to help out but he is approaching finals, the season just began for American football, he is the defense captain, he has a new gf whom he tries to occupy his mind with, etc..
so the fact that he helped me carry all that heavy stuff back n forth the long trips is sooooooo precious! I will always remember this help.
The part I did on my own though definitely made me regret owning shit! Seriously...
After we got all done and rushed to his school,I was waiting on him to leave class, sipping on my coffee and thinking: 'Why should I own pots n pans, curtains, extra shoes, many clothes, and annoying little accessories if and when I do not have a settlement yet, in other words I do not know where I will choose to live on a long term basis (or will I ever), psh not even where I will complete my master's!'
So basically I am tired of moving around and seeing all these materials be dragged around me. Having experienced this short phase in Ankara really helped me put things into new perspective. The cloud which I fancied was my philosophy dropped on earth, dissolved, and resolidified itself with love and patience during the few lonely months that I spent here.
Now I wait calmly in EAY's house for roads to be cleared out of heavy snow so I can go to Istanbul, rest on my aunt's knees and defy the long hours with mind blowing readings.
Everywhere is covered in white; the clear skies add a sweet breezy touch to this harmony. Yeah sure, the scene outside is gorgeous but I stay my ass inside being warm for today. Can you believe a truck and a bus have badly crashed due to icy snow last night on the Ankara-Istanbul route? I am glad EAY asked me to write an essay for him instead :P
My cousin ET who was in Cappadocia yesterday gave me a phonecall and we had a quick talk about my favorite (for now) turkish city Cappadocia and life in general. She told me now that she is older (wiser I'd say), she only aims to grow memories instead of riches, that she appreciated her sister's birthday cash by hopping on a hot air balloon to enjoy the nature's gift under her feet. I told her of my pride for carrying such mentality...
I surely hope that we are always able to sit back on our rocking chairs and smile at our pasts, reminiscing on all the spontaneous, unusual, silly, meaningful memories built with peace and love. Let me tell you something else: before beginning this e-mail I thought about early death; without hesitation I knew I wouldn't mind it or be intimidated by it. (not forever though hah!)
No matter how often it is repeated all around the world, as also done in the movie Dead Poets Society, Carpe Diem does not sound cheesy to my ears.
I understand what you mean about not wasting any more time even if some others may argue that it's the logical thing to hold on to a secure (?) job. I definitely feel you. Just make sure that you do listen to that low inner voice you know. You gotta be sure that the drive is instinctive that you follow no societal ideals but your faithful passions instead. Whatever you end up deciding to do, you've got my support. Always remember this.
December 2010
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